Find your funny.

My Wi-Fi and I have a complicated relationship. It keeps saying we’re connected, but never communicates.

I told my boss I needed a raise because three companies were after me. He asked which ones. I said gas, electricity, and Wi-Fi.

My family group chat is just a digital version of people shouting from different rooms.

I started a band called 999 Megabytes. We still haven’t got a gig.

My sleep schedule is like a startup: big vision, no funding, and somehow still awake at 3 a.m.

Dating me is like a software update: inconvenient, takes forever, and you’re not sure what changed.

I asked the auto driver if he could take me somewhere quiet. He took me to a library and charged me surge pricing.

My password is ‘incorrect’. So whenever I forget it, the website reminds me: ‘Your password is incorrect.’ Efficient.

The office coffee machine has seen more of my personality than my therapist.

I love long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The best way to remember your anniversary is to forget it once.

My diet starts tomorrow. Tomorrow has been very supportive for years.